I know that the popular people seem to have it made. They appear to ‘be in charge’. People think once you are labelled popular, life becomes perfect and everything, including happiness, comes easily.
We’ve all heard the saying ‘the grass always looks greener on the other side.’ It’s true - it does look greener until you get there because, just like everyone else, even the 'popular people’ have issues (e.g. wanting to keep up with one another, talking about each other, not feeling completely accepted etc).
Sometimes it becomes too easy to define who we are for reasons outside of ourselves. For example: 'I am accepted, important and worthwhile because I have so many friends.'
If your happiness depends on the number of friends you have, this could create unhappiness especially if you don't reach the magic number of friends you have set in your mind.
Feeling Good about YOU comes from truly believing that you are important just the way you are! This comes from inside you.
I have spoken to many people who are considered in the 'popular crowd' who still struggle because they don't feel truly
accepted and cared about. Being popular and having lots of friends does not guarantee you will feel good about yourself.
Some people care more about social status than the true meaning of friendship.
I think your real desire should be to have loving, understanding, supportive friends. I have learned that the quality of friendships you create is far more important than the quantity.
Once you completely accept who you are, regardless of social status, feeling good about yourself and your life follows.
Do you remember in my UPower concert when I was talking about making choices from an End Result and I told you mine 'I Choose to Respect myself, others and my dreams'.
Here is an Exercise for you to do:
· Write out your End Result – answering the question ‘What do you want to believe about YOU?’
· Start with 'I choose....' and fill in the rest. You can add Confident, Loving, Understanding, Accepting etc.
· Hang it someone in your room so that you can use it as a visual reminder of what you want to believe about yourself, regardless of the number of friends you have. I do this and I find it helps to build my confidence and self-acceptance.
· Keep repeating what it is that you want to believe about YOU. You have the final say when it comes to what you choose to believe about you and your life!
Choose not to put your happiness on hold because you are waiting until you are 'popular' in order to be Happy with you and your life.
The more confident you are with yourself the easier it will be to attract great friends. Work on being the best person and friend that you can be. Take pride in who you are and what you have to offer.
Until next time...
This has been 'my voice' but I respect this is your life - this is 'your choice'
P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve.
Keep reaching out until someone listens.
