Important to Communicate When Something is Bothering You

Q: I have an offer to study at a really great university, and part of me is really happy and really wants to go, but there's another part of me that knows that there are other courses that I'm more passionate about at other places. My parents (especially my Dad), teachers and friends are so excited for me and I don't want to disappoint them, especially as they were so supportive through the application process. Do you have any advice?

A: Congratulations on being accepted at a great university! It is always nice to have choices, but it can also make decision making more complicated.

Sometimes it can be difficult and overwhelming to make big decisions because we cannot predict the future, but ‘the unknown’ is what makes life so interesting.

I know the feeling of not wanting to let other people down, especially the people who you feel have been there to support you through your journey. It is important, however, to be honest with them and yourself because this is about your future.

Just because a school has an excellent reputation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is the best school for you. If you are thinking that there are other schools that would provide more courses that you are interested in, then I would suggest you have a conversation with your parents (especially your dad).

Here are some suggestions to help you have a conversation where everyone gets a chance to share their thoughts and concerns:

· First ask yourself - what do you want from your schooling? What do you see your final outcome being? Share your answers with them.
· Then explain how you are feeling. (Perhaps you got caught up in the excitement of getting into this university but now that it is a reality, you are wondering if it actually offers what you want).
· Weigh the pros and cons for each school. Really listen to what is being said by others. Something may get mentioned that you haven’t taken into consideration.

· It is important to share with them how much you have appreciated their help and support and let them know all the wonderful things you learned from this experience.

Taking the time to look at all of your options will really help you find the school that best suits your dreams. This will make it easier to narrow down the options and make a decision.
In the end it is you that has to live with your final decision.

‘Take a little time. Dream a Big Dream. Find out who you are and what it means in the scheme of things.’-lyrics from my song ‘Dream Big’

Until next time...

This has been 'my voice' but I respect that this is your life - this is 'your choice'

P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve.
Keep reaching out until someone listens.

‘The How’ in Our Lives isn’t Always Up to Us

Q: In your career as a singer have you ever been overwhelmed with making your dream a reality?

A: Let me first share a little bit about me:
When I was three years old I told my mom that I would be a singer. At eight,I started taking singing lessons and by eleven I was a paid performer working at a dinner theatre doing what I love to do - sing. Throughout my teen years I entered competitions, sang at festivals and recorded albums.

Up to that point I mainly sang cover songs (songs that other people had written).I enjoyed writing lyrics and melodies, but since I do not play an instrument, I couldn’t compose the music to play along with it. My melodies and lyrics come from my heart and head. I didn’t know how performing my own songs would happen, but I believed it was possible.

Six years ago I was at a music conference in Toronto, and I kept running into this one guy over and over again. Every workshop I was in - there he was. Since I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, I finally went up to him and said “We keep bumping into each other - let’s figure out why.”
So, we began to chat and he said that he was a composer. I didn’t think much of it. We exchanged emails and went our separate ways.

We corresponded through email for a few months. Then it occurred to me – maybe he could write music for me. I asked and he liked the idea. He started sending me music that I wrote the melodies and lyrics for. It turned out to be a perfect fit and we have been writing together ever since.

I share this story with you because I wanted you to see that sometimes we may not know how something will happen or how we will get to where we want to be, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

Knowing that ‘the how’ is not up to me has kept me going. Otherwise my dreams and goals seem too overwhelming. Getting caught up in that overwhelming feeling would make it easy to give up and just do something else.

Determination, perseverance, dedication, working effectively, not being afraid of asking questions and believing in who you are and what you have to offer is so important - even when others may not believe in you.

I have come along way since that eight year old little girl because I push forward and I refuse to give up!

It is not about being the best - it is about pushing yourself to be the best you can be for you.

Until next time...

This has been 'my voice' but I respect that this is your life, this is 'your choice'

P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve.
Keep reaching out until someone listens.

You Don’t Need All the Answers about Your Future

Q: I am still in school and will be for awhile and I am getting good grades and achieving my targets - however I cannot stop thinking about my future. I am scared I will choose the wrong career or not like the job I have always had my heart set on. Did you ever have these thoughts growing up? Did you always want to sing? I'm lost and I'm scared about making that big choice.

A: At times making choices can be confusing and difficult, but you don’t have to know all the answers about your future right now.
I believe what stops most people from going after what they are truly passionate about is fear of the unknown. Fear of unanswered questions: How will I get to where I want to be? When will I get there? Am I good enough? Will I like it once I get there?

Most of the time, we have to make a decision without knowing the outcome. We can only connect the dots looking back (e.g. meeting him led me to getting my current job, which led to being able to buy a car, which led to…)

What most of us really want is to connect the dots looking forward (ex. I will call this person, which will lead to me getting an interview, which will lead to that job, which will lead to financial freedom, which will lead to owning that cottage…).

We all have goals and plans, but be open to the possibility that our plans can change and evolve along the way. I will use myself as an example.

You asked if I always wanted to sing. The answer is, yes. Now, not only am I a singer - I am also a Motivational Speaker/Songwriter and Columnist.

If you had told me 5 years ago I would be doing all those things, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Ever since I was three years old I wanted to be a singer. Throughout my teens I sang at festivals, concerts and went into recording studios.

My dream was still to be a singer. I mainly sang other people’s song because I thought my own songs were not good enough.

I started to get more confident with my own writing and the messages I wanted to say. I was told by many people that I should go into schools to share my life experiences, lessons I’ve learned and life tools that have helped me. I always enjoyed speaking and singing in front of people, but I thought ‘No, I just want to sing- not speak about my personal struggles and triumphs.’

Then, one day, at the end of one of my shows at a mall, a school principal approached me about singing and sharing my story with her students. I agreed. Now years later, I have developed UPower Concerts - a mixture of sharing and singing to provide valuable life tools in an entertaining, memorable way.

You see, we can start off with a plan, but that plan can grow or change into something that you did not expect by simply meeting one person.

Be open. I have learned that the HOW and WHEN in my plan is not always up to me.

I have also learned that sometimes we have to figure out what we don’t want to do in order to find out what we do want to do. That is why I love the idea of co-op in schools. You have a chance to work hands on in a profession to see if you like it.

If your school doesn’t have co-op, you can always volunteer at a job that you think you would enjoy. This way, you have a chance to see if it is for you or not.
When you choose your job/profession, the good news is you can re-choose if it doesn’t work for you.

Choose to do something that you are passionate about - something that you enjoy and makes you feel proud.

Until next time...

This has been 'my voice' but I respect that this is your life, this is 'your choice'

P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve.
Keep reaching out until someone listens.