A:I know that it is very upsetting when circumstances like this happen, that we wish didn't.
It can be very frustrating when people don't act in a way that we think that they 'should'.
Unfortunately we are not in control of other people's actions, thoughts and choices, however, we are in control of our own! That is what I call our UPower - this is our own personal power to make empowering CHOICES in our lives regardless of the CIRCUMSTANCE.
I know that it's not always easy to see beyond the feelings of pain and hurt that you are experiencing right now, but these feelings don't have to last forever. Know that this sadness you feel right now will pass.
CHOOSE to allow yourself to feel your emotions. By truly feeling your emotions you can PUSH THROUGH this CIRCUMSTANCE and find happiness once again.
Ways to PUSH THROUGH:
· Cry
· Scream into a pillow
· Stay in your room and be sad for the dayA
· Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling (as long as you are not hurting anyone else by taking out your anger on them)
· Talk with a trusted friend
· And my personal favorite - Journaling
Journaling allows me to release my thoughts and feelings (decluttering of my brain). I journal a lot. It is a safe place to express myself. Plus, once I write the CIRCUMSTANCE and how I am feeling, it helps bring me clarity about the CHOICES I have in order toPUSH THROUGH.
The Good News is that you found out early in your relationship that he is not a person who values honesty. It sounds like he did you a favour. This doen't sound like a guy who wants a long, healthy, happy relationship.
Why would you want to be with someone who isn’t interested in treating you and others with respect?
Once again,I know that it isn’t a good feeling when a CIRCUMSTANCE like this happens but know that you can CHOOSE to come out the other side of this with more wisdom about yourself and your relationships.
When I was fourteen I wrote out all the qualities that I wanted in a relationship. I knew this would be a great help in helping me choose who I wanted to date when I was sixteen.
I'm going to call it: Relationship Journaling:
I wrote out everything that I wanted in a guy (ex:kind, generous, thoughtful, honest, understanding, fun etc)
Then I wrote out how I wanted our relationship to be (ex: We would enjoy doing activities together, we would allow each other their own time, we would communicate with each other and listen to each other and we would be a great team etc.)
Knowing what you want in a relationship brings you one step closer to getting what you want.
Believe that you are worthy and deserving of a great, honest and respectful relationship.
Feel your emotions. Write them out. Choose to Believe in You. Start thinking about what a Great relationship looks like for you!
‘I won’t lay down because of you. I will not hide from you. I know what I am made of and I will push through.’ - lyrics from my song ‘Push Through’
Until next time...
This has been 'my voice' but I respect that this is your life - this is 'your choice'
P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve.
Keep reaching out until someone listens.
