Q: Sometimes I see kids at my school doing things they shouldn't. I want to tell a teacher but I don't want to be known as a tattle tale by the other kids. I know the right thing to do is to get help but sometimes even the teachers say not to tattle, what should I do?
A: I can remember thinking something very similar to this when I was in elementary school. On the one hand you are told to tell someone if there is something going on that is not acceptable, then on the other hand you are told not to tattle - it can be very confusing. It is hard to be labelled a ‘tattle tale’ especially when you believe what you are telling is important and will make a difference.
At times we have all been called names and although it can be hurtful and upsetting, at the end of the day it is up to us to choose to decide whether or not we will believe it and allow it to upset us. Personally, I’d rather be called a tattle tale then be known as someone who never stands up for what is right.
To me, tattling and telling are very different. I define ‘tattling’ as ‘to let out a secret, to chatter, or to gossip’ and ‘telling’ as ‘informing another of a situation causing emotional or physical hurt to yourself or others’.
The tough thing is to decide whether you would be tattling or telling on someone. To help you decide which one it is, here is a question you can ask yourself: “Am I or is someone else being emotionally or physically hurt by this situation?” If your answer is ‘yes’, then I would definitely consider this ‘telling’. If the answer is ‘no’ then I would consider it ‘tattling’
When something is happening to you or you see something happening to someone else that you believe is not appropriate or respectful, it is up to you to choose what you are going to do about it.
Here are some things that you can do:
· If you feel that you can and that it is safe, talk to the person that is involved in the situation or write them a letter. By communicating to them how you feel, it could help solve the issues
· Talking to a friend(s) - I often talked to my friends and together we came up with solutions.
· Tell a teacher, and if your teacher doesn’t listen…
· Tell your principal, your parents, a school counsellor or…. someone else that you trust
· If you are afraid to talk to someone, write a letter stating your concerns and what is happening and give it to the person you trust will listen.
*If you feel that no one is listening and the situation is getting worse, it is extremely important to keep telling people until you find someone who will listen, who will take you seriously and who will help.
Remembering to let other people help you out when you are in a situation that you feel you cannot handle by yourself is very important. So when times get tough tell someone you trust.
I know that it can be a hard situation to be in and sometimes it feels scary to tell someone what is happening, but remember that your emotional & physical safety is extremely important.
‘And you were just waiting to pick me apart But I won’t lay down because of you, I will not hide from you. I know what I am made of and I will push through.’ lyrics from my song ‘Push Through’
If you are confronted with a really confusing and hard situation, in Canada you can call Kids Help Phone toll free at 1-800-668-6868 or visit them online at www.kidshelpphone.ca.
We all need help and support sometimes.
Until next time...
This has been 'my voice' but I respect that this is your life, this is 'your choice'
Keep reaching out until someone listens.
