Allow Yourself to Feel Upset, But Choose not to Stay There

Q: My mom and dad have been separated for a long time and honestly I like it that way but now they are thinking about getting back together. I think my mom is happier without him in our house. How can I get her to see that she shouldn’t take him back?

A: When you say that you feel as though your parents are better apart, I can totally understand, because I felt the same way about my parents.

I loved it when my parents were together and getting along but when they started to fight and argue more often than having loving or even just civil conversations, I didn't think that their being together was good for anyone. They didn't bring out the best in each other.

It sounds like you are now used to your parents being apart and maybe you see a happier, different side to them now they are not together.

I am a huge fan of communication. Sit down with your mom and share your thoughts and feelings in a loving way. Even if she doesn't agree, it would be beneficial to communicate how you feel and she can do the same.

If you don't feel you are up to talking face to face - write a letter.
After speaking or writing to your mom perhaps you would now feel comfortable talking to your mom and dad together. This would be a good way to allow everyone to communicate how they feel and to figure out what kind of changes everyone would like to see.

In the end, the final choice, of getting back together, is up to your mom and dad. By choosing to share your feelings you may find that you will feel a lot better about whatever choice is made.

Until next time...

This has been 'my voice' but I respect that this is your life - this is 'your choice'

P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve.
Keep reaching out until someone listens.