A: I wasn't always the size I am now. I was bigger when I was younger.
When I was growing up, some people would make remarks about the way I looked and I felt as though the hurt and sadness would last forever. The sadness came from believing the negative opinions, which then led to me criticizing myself. That’s how the war between myself and my body started.
'What do you get from not accepting? Maybe it’s time to stop rejecting?'
- lyrics from my song 'Love Crusade' ♫ http://blip.fm/~bflfh
I used to compare myself to one of my best friends who had long thin legs. I thought that she had perfect legs and since mine were shorter and bigger, that meant that mine were not beautiful.
Another person I used to compare my body to was my older sister. She was smaller than me and I used to constantly wish I had her body. I thought that if I did, my life would be better.
Comparing myself to them was ridiculous. It wasn’t going to change anything. It wasn't going to make my legs longer and thinner or my body skinnier. Plus, my friend, my sister and I had totally different body types and bone structures.
Now, there is nothing wrong with looking at someone to inspire you to get in shape and eat healthier. But the problems occur when we look at other people and decide we would rather BE them and, in turn, we give up on ourselves and our uniqueness.
One day, instead of all this, ‘judging and comparing’ myself to others and ‘wanting to be someone else’ stuff, I decided to 'choose me'!
'Choosing me' meant that I decided to make my body and myself the best that it could be for me, without comparing it to anyone else. I was tired of rejecting my body. I was tired of being at war with myself.
Here are 4 tools that continue to help me:
- Journaling - Clear your mind and heart. There is something very freeing about writing out your thoughts and emotions on paper.
- UPower Notes - Write uplifting, empowering, encouraging thoughts or words. Place them everywhere that you will see them. Two of my favorites are; “I choose to love and respect myself” and simply the word “freedom”.
- Being Grateful to My Body - I took the parts of my body that I resented and wrote down all the reasons that I should be grateful. For example: my legs allow me to run, walk, and I can paint my toenails. This exercise helps me to look at my body and appreciate it.
- Eating Healthy & Exercising - Once I started being grateful to my body I realized I needed to take good care of it, so that it could do everything that I wanted and needed it to in a day. Each day I would eat healthy foods - fresh fruits, veggies (lots of salads), etc. and no junk food. I began to go power walking. I even started going to the gym, so that I could learn how to use weight training to shape my body. When I started taking care of myself, I started enjoying the journey back to loving me.
I can now see that criticizing ourselves and believing the criticism of others, only leads to unhappiness. In the end, the only opinion that matters is the one that we choose to believe about ourselves!
I know that it’s easier said than done, but learning to really respect yourself and your body is so important to true happiness! It isn't about being skinny - everyone has a different body shape and size - it is about being healthy and happy!
Until next time…
This has been ‘my voice’ but I respect that this is your life, this is ‘your choice’
